Friday, November 21, 2008

just one more night

For the past week Jonathan has been gone to Providence, RI to attend the ETS conference. Elissa and Josiah planned a trip to keep me company while he was gone. Initially, I thought ETS would only last until Thursday, but then Jonathan told me he would not be home until late Saturday afternoon. (they have a 23 hour bus trip back). Of course, he told me after Elissa had already bought her ticket to come up and boy, was I dreading Thursday to get here.

This morning I woke up with my arm around a box of cereal. Ever creak the house made woke me up last night. At 1:00 am, I laid in bed, hungry and wide awake. After gaining enough courage to escape the security of my cozy room and walk through a dark house, I grabbed a box of cereal and Diet Dr. Pepper. I then proceeded to retreat back to fort (aka my bed) and turn on the TV. I thought for sure Bernie Mac would put me to sleep, but he didn't.

Originally, I thought the only perk of Jonathan not being here was that I was able to watch movies in bed. But I discovered another one: eating in bed. He hates it when I do that. When I was pregnant with Elizabeth I HAD to have a couple of crackers before I got up in the morning. So, there on the night stand, laid my delicious Zesta crackers that I thorough enjoyed as it eased my nauseous stomach. Apparently, I'm a messy eater (but who isn't with crackers? plus I was probably about to pee myself, so I HAD to eat them fast) and I got cracker crumbs all in our sheets. Jonathan would come home after a long day of work, only to hop in to sheets that felt like it had grains of salt in them (truly, it may have been salt. I HAD to brush the salt of the top of the crackers. Do you know was salt does? It swells you up, and that is one thing a pregnant lady does not need--more swelling!). I knew he didn't like it, but he knew the necessity of the whole ordeal.

I miss him. Those two perks aren't enjoyable enough to make me look forward to him leaving. I can't wait until tomorrow night when I can wrap him up in a big hug. I know some people like having there alone time, but I think I'm just too needy. I love it when he is here and I hate it when he is gone. But regardless of where he is, I still feel the closeness of our unity. His absence reminds me of one of my favorite John Donne's poem, "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning"


Leah F said...

Sweet friend-
I completely understand! There are advantages to watching and eating in bed, but you still have to be alone in that bed, and that is a miserable feeling! I have been counting down the hours until Nathan arrives home tonight (he is taking a plane, thankfully, no offense to Jon), and I know my kids will be thrilled to have Daddy back as well. Your post about missing Jon is very sweet, and I had no idea you harbored a secret love of John Donne! I love you girl and hope to talk to you soon (maybe tomorrow to help you kill some time?)!

Leah F said...

Oops, the post should say "watching MOVIES and eating in bed" not "watching and eating in bed" which sounds strange...

Anonymous said...

I understand where you are. My husband told me that he'll be going to a conference in February for 3 days and I'm already dreading the day!


Anonymous said...

Hey buddy! I miss you really bad today! I have just needed my Melissa fix, and cant seem to find it anywhere. Call me! Tiffany Wagoner Smith

Unknown said...

I can't help it. I'm a sucker for British Literature, especially 17th century!

What conference is he going to? Is it the pastor conference at Bethlehem in Minneapolis, MN? If so, we'll have to get him over for dinner!