Wednesday, August 8, 2012

My Target Tales: The Tale of all Tales

So there we were. Again. I was checking out the bottom of the strawberries when a sweet elderly woman approached us. I saw her from a distance. She was kindly admiring my brood from the banana aisle. I love going to our Target this time of the morning. There are lots of gray-haired shoppers and they are generally very warm to us. It makes me miss my own grandparents.

She picked out her bananas and came over. Placing her hand on my shoulder, she squared up with my eyes, just like my grandma would. "Enjoy these days. They go by so fast!" She turned to my children with a big smile, just like any grandma would.

Then it happened. My hallmark moment of wisdom raining down on me in the Target produce came to a halting stop.

"OOOHHH YAY!! YOU LOST YOUR TEETH! GREAT JOB!" my delightful Elizabeth exclaimed.

I don't know what happened next. I think I blacked out a little.

I subtly slipped on to the cereal aisle. I was searching for a particular cereal. Apparently so was the lady behind us. She learned over near us with her eyes squinting, scanning the cereals. And I could see something coming in Elizabeth's eyes. "Maaaammaaa!!" Elizabeth's scared little voice yelled. "Why...why...why she looking at me like that? Is going to try to take me, Mama?" It's these moments when I regret ever letting her watch or read the princess stories.

Oh, well. I don't think I really needed any cereal. But I definitely needed some paper towels. So once again, I slipped away to the paper goods aisle.

Another lady in the electric wheel chair came strolling up behind me. "Excuse me, could you please get that roll of paper towels for me," she sweetly asked, pointing to the top shelf. Of course I could! But in mid-stretch, Elizabeth did it again. "Mama? Why...why...why is she so old?!" Yep. I definitely regret her knowing about Snow White and Rapunzel.

Now it was time to go. On route to the checkout line, my girls started belting out their current (and only) favorite song by Justin Bieber. "BABY! BABY! BABY! OOOOOHH!" And just when I was feeling slightly embarrassed, they took turns shouting, "Jesus is King! Jesus is King!"

And this is the Target run that made us teach Elizabeth the value of whispering. Screen all questions by us first, and don't be loud. 

You can read my other Target Tales here and here.


Becky Laparra said...

this just made my day! hahaha. oh my...

Gary Horn said...

This story will be a hilarious addition to your upcoming book!