Six beautiful, hard, sweet, growing years later, I am so thankful for this day and for that guy who asked me to be his wife.
Here are some of my reflections on the past six years:
- I'm so thankful for the gospel. For its power. For its life-rearranging wisdom. For its beauty. I can't imagine our marriage without this. It makes our dark moments hopeful. And our hard times more beautiful. It pulls us out of the nitty-gritty and shows us there is something more going on than having/being a perfect spouse. It helps us to embrace our weaknesses and moves our eyes from each other to the picture we are eager to paint—Jesus and his church.
- I'm thankful for our gospel community. Our community who loves the gospel and us. Who invests and imparts wisdom and points us Jesus. It's a very precious gift to our marriage.
- I have loved every single second of being a parent with Jon. I wouldn't have wanted to wait a month longer to start our growing family. Elizabeth, Hannah, Micah, and baby #4 have grown us and extended us in unbelievable ways. The things we have learned together on this parenting journey have been amazing, hard, and so joyfully wonderful.
- This year, more than the others, I have realized how much Jon is exactly what I have needed. Six years ago, I would have said he is all I have ever wanted. Idealism has been removed and reality has set in. No longer are there ideals of who my husband is or who I am as a wife. We see each other exactly as we are. Weaknesses, blemishes, and personality differences. I don't want my ideal Jon. I'm thankful for his weaknesses and his quirkiness that make him so real. And that's what I need: a real husband, not a facade of one.
Of all the things I've reflected on over the past six years, knowing all I know now, I would have just as eagerly said yes to him on that October night; days after the Cardinals won the 2006 World Series and the night I flunked my Baptist History exam.
Six years later, I love you more deeply than I could have ever imagined. And I'm so incredibly thankful for the truth of Ephesians 3. Though I don't deserve a husband like you, grace was given and Christ's unsearchable riches have been put on display. I feel like I can almost say with Paul that even through our marriage I've gained insight into the mysteries of Christ. You have been such a tangible expression of Christ's love for me. And, I know in full confidence, sixty years later I'll say I love you more deeply than I do today, because Jesus is able and willing to do exceedingly more than I could think or ask, including in our hearts and in our marriage.
May his grace taste sweeter to us in our years to come. Even sweeter than these past six!